Saturday, October 24, 2009

October Update

It's been a little while since we last posted to this blog. Sorry to all the adoring fans. Just wanted to provide an update on where we are in the adoption process at this moment in time. Thanks to all of you who have been keeping up with us and continuously asking us questions and encouraging us in our journey towards becoming parents. It really means the world to hear from you and makes us feel like an expecting Mom & Dad rather than project workers!

We intentionally slowed down the process in the second half of the summer and early part of the fall as July, August, and September were rather busy months. I know, I know...things only get busier when you become a parent. So hey, all the more reason to try to keep some control over our own time while we've still got it!

As we mentioned in a previous entry, we were given a huge stack of paperwork by our agency, Bethany Christian Services, to go through and fill out. At the present time, we're about 97% finished with the paperwork. The last couple of things we need to do are to create a legal will and choose a pediatrician. The will shouldn't be too hard to do, but choosing a pediatrician isn't as simple as it would be if we were having a biological child. In keeping with the rule put forth by our agency, the pediatrician needs to be willing to examine our baby within 48 hours after he or she is placed with us. This will require a great amount of flexibility on the doctor's part. We will probably need to set up some meetings with different pediatricians to see who has the most experience in working with adoptive couples.

Once all of those paperwork details are out of the way -- hopefully in the not too distant future -- we will be ready to begin our home study! Talking about the home study process has elicited a range of reactions from different people. Some have said having to do a home study is downright intrusive, invasive, and a violation of our privacy. Others have said the home study is a very good and necessary measure in order to make sure the child is not entering a dangerous environment and to get us more prepared to become parents. We lean 100% towards the latter sentiment.

If you want to know what an adoption home study is NOT, watch the season 10 episode of Friends titled "The One with the Home Study." In the episode, Chandler & Monica are having their apartment inspected by an adoption social worker in hopes that she will give them a good report and place them on the adoption waiting list. Monica warns Chandler not to mess anything up because "if she doesn't like us, she can keep us off every list in the country!" This makes for good prime time TV, but greatly exaggerates and distorts the point of the home study in the first place.

The home study process will involve three separate meetings with our social worker; a woman with whom we have already cultivated a trusted relationship. The first two meetings will be at our agency's office and will involve discussion and counsel about becoming adoptive parents. We will most likely get into the good, the bad, and the ugly in these sessions and while it might sometimes be difficult, the discussions are sure to help us grow. The third meeting will take place at our house. Our social worker will come to check out our house in order to help us get prepared to welcome home a baby -- NOT to try to keep us from being parents. Naturally, if she notices things that may be hazardous, she will identify them and let us know what we have to do before our baby comes home.

Exciting stuff! More to come...